my body isnt a temple my body is a castle with a moat and crocodiles and a dragon who will set you on fire if you touch me
things that shouldn’t be as difficult as they are:
- dealing with spiders
- buying bras in the right size
- purchasing pads or tampons without getting embarrassed
- devouring the souls of my enemies
- getting out of bed in the morning
- ordering food over the phone
- using public transport
my talents include giving great head and having fantastic eyebrows so I’m pretty much set for life
- Are these mom's french fries?
- No, they are papa's fritas.