June 2013
my body isnt a temple my body is a castle with a moat and crocodiles and a dragon who will set you on fire if you touch me
instead of sending me nudes, send me photos of you wearing so many layers of clothes that you can’t even move
or nudes.
I respect both. ^.^
things that shouldn’t be as difficult as they are:
- dealing with spiders
- buying bras in the right size
- purchasing pads or tampons without getting embarrassed
- devouring the souls of my enemies
- getting out of bed in the morning
- ordering food over the phone
- using public transport
my talents include giving great head and having fantastic eyebrows so I’m pretty much set for life
- Are these mom's french fries?
- No, they are papa's fritas.
“close enough”
—anyone who’s ever tried to even out their eyeliner. (via dingyfeathers)
